Hannah Turns Five!!!

Yesterday was Hannah's fifth birthday. She was so excited and so cute. She told everyone that she was five but that she didn't even feel any bigger. It was a much different birthday than planned. We had to postpone her party with her friends and the family party wasn't quite what it might have been either with most of us feeling like we needed to be at the hospital with my brother. Her beautiful new bike is still sitting at the bike shop in NH and her other gifts and everything I bought to prepare is at home while we are at our summer home. I had to leave the hospital the other night even though they said it would only be an hour or two until my brother would leave us and head to the mall to shop as fast as I could for some gifts, wrapping paper, cards, etc (they have been telling us it would be anytime since last Saturday and being at the mall was not where I wanted to be but how do you skip a child's birthday....you can't). I stayed home all day yesterday and we spread the presents out all day (to keep the anxiety level down). She opened a trunk of Disney princess costumes and shoes in the morning and she and Christopher acted out the stories of Snow White, Cinderella, and the Little Mermaid. Christopher was soooo sweet to go along with this for hours (he's into theater so he was great running around trying the glass slipper on all of us, etc.). Then we moved onto her opening and playing Lucky Ducks and other games all afternoon. We had cake (she has us relight the candles several times and sing her various versions of the birthday song) and when we were done, Pete and I took both little girls with us to the hospital. Eventually, they ended up in the car watching Curious George and sleeping while I stayed until about midnight. I feel very bad that her birthday has fallen in the middle of all of the confusion. It's been a difficult week, but she is the bright light who shines every day. She is the one who asks each morning how "Uncle Pete" is. She is the only child who absolutely insists on seeing him each day. It is scary, but not for her. She says that he is her "favorite guy" and she will not stay out of his room. She just takes a moment to go in and see him and, knowing that she needs to remain very quiet, she figured out her own way to communicate with him. She signs to him "I love you" and "hugs and kisses" and she did this all on her own. I guess she learned these signs at preschool. I prayed he wouldn't pass away on her birthday as her losses have already been too many and that would be such a painful reminder on her happy day. I have a few photos (don't have my nice camera) and will have to do another post when she actually gets to have her big birthday bash with all of her friends, but for now, this is where we are at.

I haven't been around.....

This is the first time I've had internet access in days. We had to leave town unexpectedly. My brother, who has had a long struggle with cancer, was rushed to the hospital about 10 days ago and was moved into hospice care a few days later. At some point, I'll get back online, but for now, I'm right where I need to be.

Hillary's Solo With The Boston Symphony Orchestra

Okay, so it isn't the best quality video (sound isn't great either), but we are working on getting something a bit better. We were sneaking so a tripod wasn't an option. Also the hall was full of loud, squirmy kids (including a few of our own), but we figured that for those of you who couldn't make it on Saturday, this was better than nothing ;^). Hillary felt that the afternoon concert was her best performance, but the little girls had melted down by then and our videotaping lasted about 3 minutes before having to take the girls out of the hall. Oh well! We feel fortunate to have gotten anything.

HAPPY ADOPTION DAY/HAPPY REFERRAL DAY

Click here for song
Today is a day of celebration around our house. Not only is February 1st the 4th anniversary of Hannah's adoption day (the same day Pete met her in China and the rest of us saw her by webcam) it is also the 1st anniversary of Emma's referral day. We saw both their sweet faces on this special day and feel so incredibly blessed to have such beautiful and amazing daughters!


Hannah's referral photo

Hannah Meeting Her Dad For The First Time 2/1/2004

Hannah Now

Emma's Referral Photo 2/1/2007

Emma Now
Sisters

Another Concert And A New Camera Lens!

Hillary had another great concert last night which gave us the opportunity to try out our new lens before the BSO concert on Saturday. At these concerts, you can't use flash. In fact, they often don't allow cameras at all, which is rather sad when your own child is performing. For years, we've missed out on great photos because we didn't have a lens that could shoot indoors without much light, but this lens, the Nikon 18-200 with vibration reduction. I now have the right equipment and I start a photography course in a couple of weeks which I'm really looking forward to and hoping the education will really help me improve my shots.

An Amazing Day!

What an amazing day! Pete actually took Hillary in to Symphony Hall early so that she could warm up. I followed behind with the girls and didn't actually arrive until the start of rehearsal. Luckily, I found a parking space fairly close, but realized both girls were asleep. I roused them both, grabbed my pocketbook, diaper bag, a magna doodle and a lollipop and prayed that they'd wake in happy moods and hoped I'd be able to keep them quiet inside so that I could see some of the rehearsal. I hurried through the stage door entrance and was ushered upstairs to the backstage area. As I climbed the stairs carrying Emma, all my stuff as well as hanging onto Hannah's hand, I could hear that the orchestra was already playing. I passed a door on the left with Hillary's name posted on it...it was the soloist's dressing room. As I hurried down the corridor trying to find my way into the hall, a violin began to sing. It was totally surreal. It didn't even dawn on me for a moment that it was Hillary playing. Someone sent me to the balcony but I headed to the main floor instead. I opened the door toward the back of the hall just a bit. It was beautiful. The hall was all dark, except for the stage. I could see that there were only about a half dozen people scattered throughout the hall listening, but it was so dark I couldn't tell who most of them were. I did see Hillary's violin teacher sitting in the center about 6 rows back. She apparently had canceled all her morning students at the university to be there. She had the score in her hand and was marking it up. I pulled the girls in and sat down. Pete eventually found us and took the girls upstairs to watch from the balcony. I sat, all alone in the back, and listened. Tears ran down my face. It was such an amazing sight and so beautiful to hear.

I hear Hillary pluck away at this stuff day after day and month after month (she's been playing since she turned 5), but to sit there in Symphony Hall hearing it again today with full orchestra was overwhelming. She made it look easy. She looked totally confident, totally in control...like she did this every day (she told me afterward that she was very nervous). I thought she did a great job.

She graduates this year and will go to college in the fall. She's been in youth orchestras and chamber groups for years and there seem to have been endless rehearsals, concerts, etc. I don't sit in her lessons anymore. I haven't for years. I also don't sit through her orchestra rehearsals or drive out every weekend in the summer to see her perform at camp. I have 4 other busy kids and we already spend countless hours just driving her to all her rehearsals. We haven't had "normal" weekends in years because we usually spend 8-10 hours a weekend just driving her around (some carpooling has helped this year). It dawned on me today, in that hall, that much of this is coming to an end. There won't be all the driving next year for which we are grateful, but there won't be Hillary either. There won't be all those long mother-daughter talks during our commutes in and out of the city (often the only uninterrupted time you can get to talk). There won't be her sweet face morning, noon and night. There won't be the sound of her violin coming from her room just when I'm trying to get the little girls to sleep or the management of her very complicated schedule. She'll be gone and I'm going to miss her so. She's my mature kid...my sane kid. She's my companion. She's my comfort. She's my love. I watched her today and couldn't feel more proud of her and happy for her. She's a grown up into such an amazing young woman, so strong, just, confident. I couldn't ask for anything more. I only wonder how it all happened so fast. She's ready to fly, but I'm not ready to see her go.

New Blog Design!

I needed some inspiration to start blogging again and I found it in this new blog design that was professionally done by Rebecca. Thanks Rebecca! You did a great job and I just love it. Now I just need to find some time to sit down and start blogging again.

It's going to be a busy week. Hillary solos with the Boston Symphony on Saturday and I'm running off this morning with for her rehearsal at Symphony Hall. This is her first rehearsal with the whole orchestra...she must be soooo nervous. This is something I could never do. I'll try to sneak some pictures in the hall and post them when we get back.